Like for like...

I wanted him to be the one, I needed him to be the one. And I didn't realise until I felt the hurt of him not begin what I wanted him to be. We read books and believe the great love stories, we watch movies and believe that us to, we will fall in love in a great way. Until one day you realise that reality is just laughing at you. A while ago I read this poem  by Atticus: The doubters are just dreamers with broken hearts. Always, always have I been a dreamer, but he turned me into a doubter and I don't resent him for that, I blame myself. My mind is not strong enough to take over when my heart is in doubt. I'm great at giving advice and telling people to be tough, but I should learn to practice what I preach. You should not have to convince anybody to love you and I truly believe that. And honestly there's no rational reason to why I keep trying. He had me at hello, and the feeling I had lingers on and I can't shake it off. I was 100% sure that he felt the same. What he said and did all confirmed that. Until one day it didn't anymore and I'm desperately trying to get back what we had.

That's the thing about liking somebody, you can't force them to like you back. 

Just around the river bend...

Everyday a million things pop into my head. And there must have been a thousand stories that I have already told. But the problem is that I never put pen to paper. They stay in my head and never get immortalized by me writing them down. We are always on the go: going to work, going to a meeting, go to the gym, going to dinner,... It's how I enjoy living my life. I need to be surrounded by people and go from one activity to the other. A terrifying thought is that maybe one day I won't have anything planned, nothing to look foorward to, nothing coming next. It's a scary thought for most of us. What if all you can do is stand still and enjoy the now. Not many people really do it, I think because even though it can be liberating, it also is so real, so naked, so vulnerable that we don't want to go there. We don't want to get to a point where we have no next step because we are scared that the universe will not guide us to something next. Not something new, something next. Most people are not looking for a new thing, but the next thing. Even though tomorrow, next week, next month may be planned around something we have done repeatedly; it is enough. Why can we not be content with what we have and believe that the universe will guide is to where we are supposed to be. I like being down to earth, but I can't help but think that sometimes we are too down to earth. We are down in the earth unable to move and to change the current. Not brave enough to take time evaluate the as is and let the wind bring us to the to be. We would rather stay in the earth and look forward to winter, spring summer, autumn. Winter, spring, summer, autumn,... Even though what might be waiting can be a a whole new unexepcted season.

I know nobody reads my blog, but all women should read this:

http://wordsofkaterose.com/2015/08/12/you-dont-need-a-man-you-need-a-goddamn-warrior/

A glass half full...

My mind works out harder than I do. It is constantly thinking, analyzing, dreaming. A couple of days ago I read an article about starting a blog. Now I don't need to say that I started one already, but thusfar not that succesful. Like I'm interested in other people's thoughts I thought other people would be interested in mine. Turns out not really... The article said that you have to write about something that you're passionate about because otherwise you will not keep doing it. When I started thinking about this two F words popped into my head: Fashion and Food. Let's skip over the fashion for now and focus on the food. For a while now I've been trying to get into a healthier lifestyle: aka working out and eating less nutella. And I must say that I have my own creative way of 'going on a diet'. While I thought my colleague who is really into healthy food was supporting me, she's actually using me as a way of entertaining her husband. Every night they discuss Stefanie's diet of the day. Apparently they are not a fan of the I only drank half a red bull which is better than a whole red bull-logic. To some level I understand this, but on the other hand I'm not incorrect. Instead of eating a double croque monsieur yesterday, I only ate one. That's half of the calories saved! Mathematically this can't go wrong. Think about it, instead of getting totally drunk you stop when you feel lightheaded. Pros: less expensive, less calories, less chance you'll make a fool out of yourself, although I don't need to be drunk to do that. Cons: if I do make a fool of myself, I will remember. Still I invite all of you who don't read my blog to join in and try my 'Half an apple a day keeps the doctor a little while longer away - diet'. 

Life letter...

To my readers.

I don't know who you are and besides what I post on this blog I guess you don't know much about me neither. This blog is me putting what I feel into words and sharing it with the world. At least with the people stumbling onto my blog and deciding to read my words who put together tell the story of my heart. Already as a young child I believed in the power of words. What's been said can never be unsaid. This to me a such a powerful thought that it can make me not want to speak and just listen for a while. 

As this has been a one way street for a while now I think it is time for me to ask your feedback. When you read this what are your thoughts? Do I trigger something insede your minds, or do you just think it's plain boring. Let me know anyway. I'm a big girl, I can handle it.


Thank you 
Stefanie

Heart to handle...

For the last two weeks my brain has been doing overtime. I've always been a thinker, but it has gotten worse. Working out usually helps me clear my head. But lately there's nothing that can stop my mind from thinking. When I met him I didn't know I would feel this way. My heart knew he would be my crush, or should I say crash, before my head was able to process it. He was nice, funny, tall and easy on the eyes. Me, I was just having fun. I can still remember walking away and having every inch of my body screaming: no go back. But my head said: just keep going. I tried to ignore my gut but it was saying that this was my chance and Ididn't take it. There was a wrong done and I had to make it right. So I did and for a couple of days I felt like I hit the jackpot. He was everything I've been looking for and always thought didn't exist. And I was convinced he felt the same. Well, he did for three days, then it stopped. As I am usually very laidback how I'm handling this comes as a big surprise to me as well. Every day from the moment I get up until I eventually fall asleep all I can think about is him. More what could have been than what has been. Because what has been was so short and so intense that there's not much to wonder about. If this ever can turn into something I have to play it cool and let it be for now. Now is the time to shush my heart and let me head take over.

Don't judge, don't tell...

Nothing I love more than observing people. In one-on-one conversations or just how they go through life. There's a big disconnect between what people really want and what they are settling for. A subject that keeps my brain busy. There are a million quotes about comfort zones and how if you ever want to cross an ocean you have to let go of the shore. How come some people hold on to the shore but the moment they see another boat trying to cross the ocean they instantly want to jump on board. If you choose to settle then choose your choice. You don't love her enough not to hit on me when she's standing there watching you. Then don't choose to love her. If you do something do it good. Love somebody good or don't love them at all. She didn't force it on you, you chose this. The fact that you're not man enough to swim the ocean is not her fault, it's yours. However if you stay at the shore then make sure you are happy being there. It's hard for me not to judge people who obviously are not content with the choices they have made. She has the right to know the kind of person he is, but I guess: Don't judge, don't tell.  

642 things to think about

When I was in London earlier this year I bought a book: 642 things to write about. There are 642 statements in there and you need to use your imagination to write something about them. I've had the book for a while and this morning while relaxing before Christmas Eve I decided to finally write some of my stories. And out of all my answers there was something I could no longer ignore: I'm hurt. I don't understand it and I think I probably never will. Why wasn't I good enough? Why is she beter than me? But then I realised the problem is not him, it is not her, it is me. I need to accept that what happened was not caused by me. There was nothing I could have done different to change the way he behaved, the choices he made. I'm not perfect, but I need to realise that I don't need to change to make somebody happy. If I want to change it needs to be because I feel I have to in order to make myself a better person. Even though I knew he wasn't the one for me, I chose the ignore it for so long. The same way he did. 

Sunday and the city.

Nothing better than a lazy Sunday morning. Staying in bed, drinking hot chocolate and of course watching Sex and the City. I have seen those eposides a million times by now, but still I'm not bored.The clothes, the men, the city. Even though it has been 9 years ago that the last episode was aired, the content is still important for women. And I must say that even though it is fiction, so when the episode is over Samantha, Miranda, Charlotte and Carrie no longer exist, I have learned quit a few things from these ladies' stories. 

Everybody is looking for love. Anybody who tells you they're not can be called Pinocchio. But this looking for love doesn't mean that is not okay to be alone for a while. To enjoy being by yourself, being yourself and doing the secret single behavior. Even if the person you're in a relationship with is excepts you completely there are still things that you don't want them to know. Things of which you are not sure you even except them. It's totally acceptable to be happy with your single status, but it doesn't mean you don't want to fall in love. 

For me the greatest lesson is one that a lot of people may need reminding of: don't settle. During your life you may love and leave a lot of different men. But why settle for just love when ridiculous, over the top, can't live without each other love is still out there?

Discovery Channel...

Nothing excites me more than discovering new designers either online or on one of my trips. Since I care, I'm going to share... I have a passion for sneakers and I must say that when I came accross this Dutch brand online I immediately wanted to run to the store.The Amsterdam based brand Filling Pieces is designed by an architect and it clearly shows in the designs. They have them for both women and men (yay for all fashionable gentlemen out there) and are handmade in Portugal. 
If any of you buy a pair of these beauties, I highly recommend the low top croc sneakers in red. And of any of you want to buy me a pair for Christmas, size 38 please.

I was leisurely walking around the streets of Rome when I came across a cute little store filled with handbags. As soon as I walked in I saw a sparkle in the corner of my eye. Sequins, leopard and a chain, what else do you need in a handbag? Nice anecdote attached to this bag is that the guy who owns the store is the actual designer: Gilbert Halaby. He explained me that the bags he sells in his store in Rome are the ones he takes to Paris when he presents his collection. So my Halaby bag is a showroom model with a small French adventure attached to it.
Unfortunately his collection is not available in Belgium but thank God the year is 2014 and the Internet brings all the fashion you want to your door. A plus: besides bags he also designs jewelry. 

Here's a picture of my Halaby bag (sorry for the bad quality)

Covent Garden is definitely the place to be for Sunday brunch and Sunday shopping when you're in London. It was there in between the handmade tiles and paintings that I saw a colourful table filled with clutches. Heidi Sturgess is a London based designer who makes all the items herself. Everything is colourful and the buckles are detachable. If you ask her nicely, as my friend did, she will make one especially for you. What I love about these clutches? Everything! The colours, the materials (suede or leather), the bright pink insde, the detachable chain,... I have mine in bright blue suede with the New York sign. As I am as clumsy as I am amazing (Humility is not in my dictionary) I broke my NEWYORK sign when I was in Milan. No worries I'll get it fixed asap. 

London was particularly nice to me that Sunday. Going from Covent Garden to Seven Dials I did my discovery number two of the day: Bailey Nelson London. They have a great selection of optical glasses and they only cost 98 £ inclusive the glasses itself. I know a good deal when I see it so I couldn't resist ordering the Fitzgerald model in Mahogany. If you need new glasses and you are in London I highly recommend you to stop by. With excellent service and only 15 £ to get your specs delivered in Belgium I don't see any reason not to buy them. A plus: they have sunglasses as well. 

Ready for work in my Bailey Nelson glasses

I hope you all go online and discover more about the above mentioned designers and maybe even buy a piece yourself. If you do, let me know! 

We're falling two by two...

Mornings are colder, drinks are warmer and fashion is layered. This can only mean one thing: fall is here. After travelling to Lisbon, London and Milan it's time to slow down and enjoy Belgium. This sunny Saturday was perfect to put on my two fall essentials: sneakers and sweaters and explore Ghent. I love checking out the stores, observing everything around me and go for a hot chocolate while catching up on my reading. And under the beautiful fall sunshine I noticed something. People like pairs. Salt & Pepper, boyfriend and girlfriend, Tom & Jerry, Milk and Cookies, etc. The list is endless. I saw couples, I saw friends, I saw mothers and daugthers.All of them in a pair.But why are we so obsessed by making everything two? Is two better than one, than three, than five? 

Me in my Zoe Karssen sweater

My Nike sneakers

The world is my oyster...

But am I willing to eat it? 

I have travelled. Mostly Europe, but Los Angeles and New York are also on my been there and want to go back list. There's so much to see and I want to see it all. Not just seeing, but experiencing. Isn't the best way to experience a city and what it really is like to live in it? Two cities immediately come to mind as I'm writing this last sentence: New York and London. Both of them have this energy and fast pace in which you can lose yourself. But for me it also gives me the possibility to stand still. Stand still and observe. Observe all the people moving forward. Maybe backwards, but from the outside it's all moving. Am I moving forward? Am I moving at all? Moving, would I ever do it? Literally I mean: move to another country. God knows I love my mom and sister to death and I would miss them horribly. But there's this happy feeling in my stomach when I think about the possibility. 

I'm just trying to close the gap between the lift I have and the life I want. Not quite sure if the gap is as big as I think it is. Am I happy now? Of course. I'm happy with my regular hot chocolate with extra whipcream. But each sip I can't help but glance at the large triple chocolate milkshake behind the counter. To get it I would have to climb over the counter and make sure I have a straw. I would have to leave behind my regular hot chocolate with the risk that it won't be hot anymore when going back to it. Will the milkshake be exactly what I want? Or will it make me sick because now I had too much chocolate and I wish I would have just stayed where I was and finished my hot chocolate? 

Don't grow up, it's a trap...

I'm convinced that everybody misses the days when they were young and didn't have a care in the world. As you grow older, your responsibilities grow as well. Make sure your rent is paid, the laundry is done, the report is ready on time,... Although I'm the kind of person who loves to work under pressure, I am also the kind of person  who loves to take a nap when there are too many things to be done at once. (I will never admit this to the people close to me) But when I stopped today, after taking a nap, to think about all the things that I still needed to do I realized that you make your own choice in taking on responsibilities. You can choose to work a 9 to 5 job, live in a small appartment and have only three different sweaters to wash. But like there is a risk return trade off. There's also a trade off here. A smaller paycheck, less room for yoga and no way to express who you are through your style. You get what your work for. And I want to work untill I'm able to afford myself a Birkin Bag. So people, I need to finsh my budget analysis... 

No Excuses...

In life you always have choices. Every day there are a lot of different choices you can make. It starts at breakfast: Do I want eggs or yoghurt? And it goes on until you go to bed and need to decide what pyjamas to wear. (Always Victoria's Secret) When I think about these things I realize that I always choose what is within my routine. But from now on I want to change this. No more excuses to not do things. Because life begins at the end of your comfort zone... 

It's been a while...

I know it has been a while since I've posted anything and I wanted to say sorry for that, but I have been very busy lately. On August 4th my friend is getting married, and I'm the bridesmaid! All bridesmaids will be wearing an amazing pink Blugirl dress:

But I still have to pick shoes to wear with this dress. I'm actually thinking about wearing black ones, or is that to bold for a wedding? If you guys have any shoe ideas, just let me know!


Of course when there's a wedding, an amazing bachelorette party is mandatory. Her fiancé is taking a trip with a couple of friends to Ibiza, while we girls have decided to stick to Belgium and go to Antwerp. I've been tossing around some ideas about what outfits we should wear. We don't want to do anything tacky so a lot of planning is in order. After dinner on Saturday we want to give her a cake shaped like a Tiffany's box, which we all know she is going to adore!


Anyway, if any of you have other amazing ideas. Feel free to post them here!

Fur real???

After seeing all the amazing new fall fashion over the last few weeks, I have to admit that I'm kind of looking forward to the colder days. The most important reason for this is the fur trend. Here are some looks which may inspire you to also get your fur on:

The scarf is from Philipp Plein and in my opinion it is an amazing piece which also can be worn on colder summer evenings. If I had the money I would buy it immediately, but unfortunately I have not yet won the lottery...

Mouse flats...

Yesterday I went shopping to Lille. Of course the only two stores I was interested in were the famous Printemps and Galeries Lafayette. I wanted to see if they sold the trio céline clutch I mentioned in an earlier post, and of course this amazing handbag was nowhere to be found. But at the Printemps shoe department I saw these amazing Marc by Marc Jacobs mouse flats and I immediately wanted to buy them. But unfortunately they didn't have my size anymore. So tomorrow I'm going on a local shoe hunt in the hope that in Belgium my size will still be available...

The amazing mouse flats I want to buy in black :)

 

Rainy saturday...

Yesterday was a another rainy day in Belgium, so me and my sister decided to bake some cookies and hit the mall. The cookies were delicious and on our short shopping trip I decided to buy this amazing Chanel sunglasses.

You guys have to admit that the cookies look very tasty, but what do you think of my new sunglasses...?

Blue again...

Today I went to a local store and I bought these two amazing items: 

Piazza Sempione Audrey printed capri pants and Atos Lombardini blue blazer

Everyone who knows me, knows that I am a blazer addict! They are such an essential piece and can be combined in so many ways that no matter how much it costs, it's always worth the investment. Both pieces are beautiful, but it's the amazing fit which made me buy them!

So tell me what you think of my new blazer and my printed pants... 

My favourite place...

With all this free time on my hands and the horrible weather in Belgium, there's not that much to do. So today I took a trip to the library. The instant I walked in I remembered how much I used to love this place. Ever since I was a little girl I loved reading. The places it could take me and the new friends that came into my life with the start of every new book were just amazing. And today I again felt like the little girl who entered that big place with her library card, ready to discover all the new stories. While browsing through the books I remembered that when the teacher would ask us what we wanted to be when we were all grown up my answer was always: Author! That's right not writer but author. My life was dedicated to writing stories in my notebook and reading books on how to become an author. Once I used up a whole notebook to write the story of the cat that got lost when picking up the paper. I carried that notebook with me everywhere and now I can't remember what happened to it, nor to my dream of becoming an author...