Just around the river bend...

Everyday a million things pop into my head. And there must have been a thousand stories that I have already told. But the problem is that I never put pen to paper. They stay in my head and never get immortalized by me writing them down. We are always on the go: going to work, going to a meeting, go to the gym, going to dinner,... It's how I enjoy living my life. I need to be surrounded by people and go from one activity to the other. A terrifying thought is that maybe one day I won't have anything planned, nothing to look foorward to, nothing coming next. It's a scary thought for most of us. What if all you can do is stand still and enjoy the now. Not many people really do it, I think because even though it can be liberating, it also is so real, so naked, so vulnerable that we don't want to go there. We don't want to get to a point where we have no next step because we are scared that the universe will not guide us to something next. Not something new, something next. Most people are not looking for a new thing, but the next thing. Even though tomorrow, next week, next month may be planned around something we have done repeatedly; it is enough. Why can we not be content with what we have and believe that the universe will guide is to where we are supposed to be. I like being down to earth, but I can't help but think that sometimes we are too down to earth. We are down in the earth unable to move and to change the current. Not brave enough to take time evaluate the as is and let the wind bring us to the to be. We would rather stay in the earth and look forward to winter, spring summer, autumn. Winter, spring, summer, autumn,... Even though what might be waiting can be a a whole new unexepcted season.

I know nobody reads my blog, but all women should read this:

http://wordsofkaterose.com/2015/08/12/you-dont-need-a-man-you-need-a-goddamn-warrior/

A glass half full...

My mind works out harder than I do. It is constantly thinking, analyzing, dreaming. A couple of days ago I read an article about starting a blog. Now I don't need to say that I started one already, but thusfar not that succesful. Like I'm interested in other people's thoughts I thought other people would be interested in mine. Turns out not really... The article said that you have to write about something that you're passionate about because otherwise you will not keep doing it. When I started thinking about this two F words popped into my head: Fashion and Food. Let's skip over the fashion for now and focus on the food. For a while now I've been trying to get into a healthier lifestyle: aka working out and eating less nutella. And I must say that I have my own creative way of 'going on a diet'. While I thought my colleague who is really into healthy food was supporting me, she's actually using me as a way of entertaining her husband. Every night they discuss Stefanie's diet of the day. Apparently they are not a fan of the I only drank half a red bull which is better than a whole red bull-logic. To some level I understand this, but on the other hand I'm not incorrect. Instead of eating a double croque monsieur yesterday, I only ate one. That's half of the calories saved! Mathematically this can't go wrong. Think about it, instead of getting totally drunk you stop when you feel lightheaded. Pros: less expensive, less calories, less chance you'll make a fool out of yourself, although I don't need to be drunk to do that. Cons: if I do make a fool of myself, I will remember. Still I invite all of you who don't read my blog to join in and try my 'Half an apple a day keeps the doctor a little while longer away - diet'. 

Life letter...

To my readers.

I don't know who you are and besides what I post on this blog I guess you don't know much about me neither. This blog is me putting what I feel into words and sharing it with the world. At least with the people stumbling onto my blog and deciding to read my words who put together tell the story of my heart. Already as a young child I believed in the power of words. What's been said can never be unsaid. This to me a such a powerful thought that it can make me not want to speak and just listen for a while. 

As this has been a one way street for a while now I think it is time for me to ask your feedback. When you read this what are your thoughts? Do I trigger something insede your minds, or do you just think it's plain boring. Let me know anyway. I'm a big girl, I can handle it.


Thank you 
Stefanie

Heart to handle...

For the last two weeks my brain has been doing overtime. I've always been a thinker, but it has gotten worse. Working out usually helps me clear my head. But lately there's nothing that can stop my mind from thinking. When I met him I didn't know I would feel this way. My heart knew he would be my crush, or should I say crash, before my head was able to process it. He was nice, funny, tall and easy on the eyes. Me, I was just having fun. I can still remember walking away and having every inch of my body screaming: no go back. But my head said: just keep going. I tried to ignore my gut but it was saying that this was my chance and Ididn't take it. There was a wrong done and I had to make it right. So I did and for a couple of days I felt like I hit the jackpot. He was everything I've been looking for and always thought didn't exist. And I was convinced he felt the same. Well, he did for three days, then it stopped. As I am usually very laidback how I'm handling this comes as a big surprise to me as well. Every day from the moment I get up until I eventually fall asleep all I can think about is him. More what could have been than what has been. Because what has been was so short and so intense that there's not much to wonder about. If this ever can turn into something I have to play it cool and let it be for now. Now is the time to shush my heart and let me head take over.

Don't judge, don't tell...

Nothing I love more than observing people. In one-on-one conversations or just how they go through life. There's a big disconnect between what people really want and what they are settling for. A subject that keeps my brain busy. There are a million quotes about comfort zones and how if you ever want to cross an ocean you have to let go of the shore. How come some people hold on to the shore but the moment they see another boat trying to cross the ocean they instantly want to jump on board. If you choose to settle then choose your choice. You don't love her enough not to hit on me when she's standing there watching you. Then don't choose to love her. If you do something do it good. Love somebody good or don't love them at all. She didn't force it on you, you chose this. The fact that you're not man enough to swim the ocean is not her fault, it's yours. However if you stay at the shore then make sure you are happy being there. It's hard for me not to judge people who obviously are not content with the choices they have made. She has the right to know the kind of person he is, but I guess: Don't judge, don't tell.